When in the course of Chicago's events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the baseball fandom which have separated them from one another, and assume among the powers of the Earth, the complete and utter destruction of the Green Bay Packers to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel the Chicago Bears to Victory.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Bears fans are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator George Papa Bear Halas, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Victories, Celebrations, and Super Bowl Parades. That to secure these rights, The Chicago Bears were instituted amongst the NFL deriving their just powers from the consent of Bears fans everywhere. That whenever any team from Wisconsin becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the Chicago Bears to abolish, destroy, devour them; to institute football superiority.
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